The Jokes for Today

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Syndication

Topical jokes about cockroaches, Donald Trump, and a license plate that reads 8THEIST.

Note: This is a shorter episode, but I want to crank them out a lot faster.

Direct download: Aug14.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 10:54pm PDT

Topical jokes about: A really old Twinkie, squirting breastmilk on people, President Obama's approval rating, shooting a gun as a joke, Ozzy Osbourne's sex addiction, Mac 'n Cheetos, and Blink 182

HUGE APOLOGY ALERT. Most of these jokes are pretty old, because I wrote them last month when I submitted a packet for The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. After I finished that packet, I lost all interest in recording the jokes, and the podcast in general, and then did nothing for a month. I really just had zero interest in doing the podcast, and it's a small miracle I did it tonight.

Direct download: Aug8.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 11:32pm PDT

Topical Jokes about: The Cleveland Cavaliers, a woman being chased by a bear, free tickets from Tickemaster, a naked restaurant in Japan, Chewbacca Mom, and other stuff.

Note: Sorry for the delay in recording a new episode. Thanks to the Summer weather, this episode is complete with crickets chirping between jokes, just like if I performed them for an audience.

Direct download: Jun19.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 11:13pm PDT

Topical jokes about Donald Trump, Caitlyn Jenner, George Zimmerman's gun auction, a 100 year old running around, and the Indy 500.

Direct download: May15.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 10:59pm PDT

Topical jokes about the TSA, Toys R Us, airlines, advertising on NBA jerseys, people dying, and a Tinder scholarship.

Direct download: Apr24.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:52pm PDT

Topical jokes about stealing candy bars, yoga on airplanes, sewing your hand into your stomach, and a Scarlett Johansson robot.

Direct download: Apr4.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 11:10pm PDT

Topical jokes about: Donald Trump's position on abortion, a tax on marijuana, Katt Williams getting beaten up, adult coloring books, virtual reality porn and much more.

Direct download: Mar31.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 7:43pm PDT

Topical jokes about Jared Fogle, Indiana Jones, a woman ripping off her husband's testicles, stolen Legos and much more.

Direct download: Mar17.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 10:13pm PDT

Topical jokes about Kanye asking for a billion dollar loan, Jeb Bush quitting the presidential race, a giant diamond, guns in the classroom, and of course Adolf Hitler's deformed penis.

Direct download: Feb21.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 7:37pm PDT

Topical jokes about Donald Trump, Chipotle, Sears, crosses on cop cars, Subway's $5 dollar foot long, and more.

Note: I recorded this in like 3 takes, which I think is the fastest ever.

Direct download: Feb10.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 9:33pm PDT