The Jokes for November 9th

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Good morning, good afternoon, and goodnight. These are The Jokes for Today for November 9th.

 

In Michigan, a dead woman was found inside the donation dumpster at Goodwill. Goodwill employees discovered the dead woman, when a customer tried to buy her.

 

Speaking of death--

 

In Alaska, a man was who faked his own death has been sentenced to 15 months in prison. When the judge read the sentence, the man could be heard crying from inside his coffin.

 

The morning after the midterm election, Attorney General Jeff Sessions resigned. To insure that there is no interruption in his duties, Sessions will be replaced by a child-sized scarecrow, wearing a klan outfit.

 

Florida plans to phase out greyhound racing by 2020, meaning thousands of greyhounds will need to be adopted. Because there are more dogs than available homes, the greyhounds will have to compete for adoption via some sort of speed competition.

 

These were the Jokes for Today, and I, was Jonas Polsky.