The Jokes for Today

Topical jokes about Donald Trump signing a boob, snorting coke during a traffic stop, a guy named Bud Weisser, a baby named Saint West, gun violence in America, a burglar being eaten by an alligator, and other stuff.

Note: We're celebrating the podcast's 1 year anniversary!

Direct download: Dec7.15.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 11:27pm PST

Topical jokes about Hilary Clinton, sexting secret service agents, the Syrian Army, wearing a spaghetti strainer, Charlie Sheen, and more.

Direct download: Nov22.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 6:36am PST

Topical jokes about Donald Trump, Joe Biden's presidential dreams, autism diagnoses, vegetarian hot dogs, being poor in LA, and of course -- Grumpy Cat.

Poll: Would you rather have longer podcasts, and fewer episodes, or more episodes, with fewer jokes? Sound off by leaving a review on iTunes:

Direct download: Oct28.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:46pm PST

Topical jokes about female Viagra, a sexy police standoff, the US deficit, a test to find out if you're gay, ISIS signing bonuses, and more.

EPISODE 50! Please leave me a review on iTunes!


Direct download: Oct18.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 9:45pm PST

Topical jokes about the Pope meeting Kim Davis, California's "right to die" law, a man fired for farting too much, Jeb Bush's "Stuff Happens" moment, and much more.

Trivia: Now longer than ever, this episode is almost TWO full minutes!

Direct download: Oct8.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 12:45pm PST

Topical jokes about Whopper Wine, Gay pride Doritos, Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump's Bible, and much more.

Note: By popular demand, the podcast will now feature a minimum of 8 jokes, instead of the previous 6.

Direct download: Sep26.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:16pm PST

Topical jokes about Hillary Clinton's emails, the minimum wage in New York, refugees in a concentration camp, Best Buys inside Macy's, having sex on an airplane, a baby drinking vodka, and other stories I'm too lazy to list.

Weekend Update Edition: These are the jokes from my Weekend Update submission packet.

Direct download: Sept13.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 5:51pm PST

Topical jokes about Sarah Palin, the number of trees on Earth, a shootout in Brooklyn, a pillow fight at West Point, a Muslim flight attendant, death by selfie, and other news stories.

Direct download: Sep6.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 11:37am PST

Topical jokes about a bombing in Bangkok, a woman who is allergic to wi-fi, the Ashley Madison hack, political correctness, a gang called Tango Blast, and Jerry Seinfeld's lemonade stand.

Note: Sorry this episode is so late. I spent the last two weeks writing jokes for a comedy festival in Sweden(?), and it took up all the free time I didn't spend procrastinating.

Direct download: Sep1.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 10:43pm PST

Topical jokes about George Zimmerman's painting, female Viagra, the Ashley Madison hack, Kim Jong Un, Jared Fogle, and a pregnant MMA fighter.

Trivia: I think this is the funniest episode yet.

Direct download: Aug18.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:20pm PST