The Jokes for Today

Topical Jokes about: Marijuana pizza, a bad dog owner, untalented psychics, fox news, and a lawsuit involving a testicle.


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Show Transcript:

Good morning, good afternoon, and goodnight. These are the jokes for today for June 18th.

In Massachusetts, a marijuana dispensary has begun selling marijuana pizza. If your marijuana pizza isn't delivered within 30 minutes, then your driver is probably taking a nap.

Police ticketed a woman after she left her six dogs in a hot car, and they all died. The ticket was for "barbecuing without a license."

Fox News has announced they are retiring their old slogan "Fair and Balanced." Fox executives are still deciding on the new slogan, which they've narrowed down to either: "The Daily Show for Racists" or "InfoWars Light."

In Arizona, two psychics were surprised when they were hit by a car that crashed through the window of a restaurant. The man explained that were were different kinds of psychics. He's the kind of psychic who can't see the future.

...the injured psychic asked police to let his wife know he was in the hospital so she wouldn't be worried. The man said that his wife is also a psychic.

In Pennsylvania, a man has been awarded $870,000 dollars after he underwent surgery to remove a diseased testicle, and the doctor removed his healthy testicle by mistake. In the doctor's defense, no testicle has ever looked healthy.

These were the jokes for today, and I, was Jonas Polsky.
Direct download: Jun1817.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 6:28pm PST