The Jokes for Today

After an extremely long hiatus, the Jokes for Today are BACK!

Topical jokes about: an island of garbage, the owner of Costco dying, stoners, and OJ Simpson getting out of prison.

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Show Transcript:

Good morning, good afternoon, and goodnight. These are the jokes for today for August 3rd.

In extremely recent news:
OJ Simpson convinced a parole board to release him from prison. OJ made a pretty compelling argument to the parole board: he threatened to MURDER them.

OJ swore that if he was released from prison that he'd never commit another murder. The parole board reminded him that he was in prison for robbery.
A study found that people who smoke marijuana are more relaxed than people who don't. The study consisted of a scientist looking at a stoner for 1 second.

Scientists have discovered a floating patch of garbage in the ocean, that's 1 and a half times the size of Texas. The biggest difference is that  unlike Texas, people want to live on the island of garbage.

The founder of Costco has passed away. He died while making a sandwich, when he fell off of a stepladder, and drowned in a 600 gallon jar of mayonnaise.
These were the jokes for today, and I, was Jonas Polsky.

Direct download: Aug3.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 10:31pm PST